Mealtime rituals for children that are worth introducing in your home.

Rituals - they give the rhythm of everyday life, they can systematize the world of a little person and make his natural curiosity allow him to play effectively, learn and function peacefully.

“I do not want (...) to describe everything that in our world order disturbs the natural rhythms and rituals of humans, especially the spontaneous rhythms and rituals of children. I leave this necessary classification to others who have better tools to describe the scope and consequences of the phenomenon; Personally, I prefer to go the opposite way and share simple stories about trust. True stories that illustrate and highlight what appears naturally when we stop imprisoning the nature of our children in the tight shell of our expectations and fixed beliefs - when we simply stop wanting to educate them and start living with trust in them ; the same trust that we would all like to experience from others," says French educational educator Andre Stern, author of, among others, the book "Rhythms and Rituals of Children".

Why mealtime rituals are important for children.

American consultant and therapist and author of the blog "Your Kids Table", Alisha Grogan, mother of three boys, advises parents on solutions that help overcome difficulties and, sometimes, crises. Every parent knows that feeding babies and meal times can become a battlefield for every bite. Grogan provides proven methods to make eating and sharing meals a pleasure and time well spent. Sometimes a child is eager to eat, discover new flavors and experience new things.

The first thing to remember is that children have a completely different perception . For many of them, sitting at the table without being able to move is simply difficult. In addition, little people do not have the ability to concentrate for long periods of time. Too many things distract them. A solution for parents of those children who are always on the move? Providing them with physical activity before meals. Let it be a walk, playing with a ball, dynamic dancing. Anything to release energy. Rituals come to the rescue , teaching children rhythm and systematizing the world.

The ritual of setting the table together.

Simple, yet very effective: involving children in setting the table . When they suddenly hear "dinner" or "come to the table", they are usually in the middle of very important tasks: they are doing a puzzle, watching a fly, or doing something that probably absorbs them completely. And this is regardless of whether they are 2 or 12 years old. It is better to start preparing for food in advance . Toddlers can be given napkins, older children can set plates or carry food to the table. Works! This ritual also gives you time to calm down and talk.

Introduce a musical ritual to shared meals.

Turn on the music. On many websites, including YouTube, you can find playlists created specifically to make meals more enjoyable . It could be soft jazz or bossa nova. As Grogan explains, music helps children in 2 ways. When they hear it (and it always plays during a meal), they automatically associate it with the meal at the table . At this point, their ever-busy brain sends a signal: it's time to eat. Secondly, music is calming . You can also sing a song before a meal - "Baby shark" always works, just like "Wheels of the Bus" or other children's hits. After a few such performances, the child will begin to associate the song with time for eating and time together at the table.

The "buffet" ritual.

Allow your child autonomy at the table. Let him try to put what he wants on his plate . Perhaps it will only be potatoes or dry pasta. Let him do it. Seeing everyone passing bowls around, it will be interesting to see what's inside. This may encourage them to try new flavors . What if the tablecloth gets dirty? Too bad!

The “game instead of a fairy tale” ritual.

Many parents are so worried about their impatient picky eaters that for peace of mind, they tell them fairy tales whenever their child eats something. It's like barter: food for fairy tales. Instead, you can try playing a game . This solution works especially well with children around 5 years of age. Grogan suggests that the more absurd the ideas, the more intriguing children are. While eating, you can ask your child: “Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible? Would you rather have too long hair or nails? Would you rather smell roses or bacon all day long?” The possibilities are endless and fun for the whole family is guaranteed.

“No-phone zone” ritual.

Create a phone-free zone. When you put down your phone before a meal, which most of us rarely part with, do it demonstratively. You are sending your children a message that something important is happening . That eating is a special time.

You can read about the importance of shared meals - not only for mental health, but also for physical health - and their impact on a child's development here .

Bibliography:

1. Stern A., "Rhythms and rituals of children", Element, Gliwice 2021.
2. Grogan A. “7 Mealtime Rituals That Keep Kids at the Table Longer”, yourkidstable.com, accessed March 22, 2022.
3. Grogan A., “Kid Hate Mealtime? These 7 Tips Will Change Everything” yourkidstable.com, accessed March 22, 2022.