Get angry about your health.

Anger is valuable because it is a source of important information. It appears when someone violates our boundaries, the stress level is too high, and the tension becomes unbearable. It is our evolutionary inheritance, and it is crucial for survival because it motivates us to act. In the past (though sometimes still today) its task was to deter the aggressor and protect us.

Be (im)polite.

For a long time, the world did not take anger seriously, considering it a kind of weakness rather than examining its causes and functions. Today, its positive aspects are being talked about more and more often. Despite this There is still a stereotype that it is "inappropriate" to be angry. This applies especially to women, who are accused of "hysteria", and children, who are said to be "naughty". In the meantime, you just need to learn to manage your anger instead of suppressing it . When suppressed, it always leads to an outbreak of aggression - parents of children know this well. The mechanisms of anger are the same in adults and children, but children do not yet have the tools to deal with it. Hence their attacks of fury, e.g. throwing themselves on the floor to give vent to their emotions.

When anger becomes aggression!

The problem occurs when accumulated tension and frustration, resulting from e.g. unmet needs, becomes destructive and leads to aggression . Each of us has had an explosion and then regretted it. Both in contacts with friends, family, children, co-workers or when dealing with everyday matters at the office.

According to Dr. Charles Spielberger, a psychologist who specializes in research on anger, it is "an emotional state whose spectrum includes irritation as well as rage and fury" ¹ . Like other emotions, it affects the entire body. When we get angry, our heart rate increases, blood pressure increases, and adrenaline and noradrenaline levels shoot up.

Anger – what next?

How do we usually deal with anger? The American Psychological Foundation (APF) lists 3 such ways: expressing anger, suppressing and calming down .

The worst thing you can do is suppress your anger.

Just for this many of us have this tendency, because we have been socialized this way since childhood ("don't get angry", "be polite"). Unexpressed anger negatively affects relationships and the way of thinking, and also leads to neurosis and depression. It also causes physical health problems - it leads to high blood pressure, heart disease ² , headaches, skin diseases and digestive problems. There is a link between repressed anger and crime, violence and aggressive behavior ³ .

Another method of dealing with anger is internal calming .

It means that we focus not only on controlling our behavior, but also on the body's reactions , trying to control racing thoughts, calm the heart rhythm and breathing.

The healthiest method is to express anger.

This should be done in an assertive but not aggressive manner. You need to realize what your needs are at any given moment, what causes anger , and how to express your expectations without hurting others. Give yourself the right to say: I am angry . Naming the problem is half the battle. The next step is to become aware of what was the catalyst for the negative feelings. Use prompts that are calming content . These include: "I'm trying to calm down", "I'm withdrawing from confrontation", "let's postpone this conversation", etc.

Are you angry? Breathe.

It is worth working on anger before it turns into rage or fury, and then into aggression. APF recommends the following relaxation techniques that can help during a tantrum:

• Breathe deeply, trying to breathe from your diaphragm.

• You can count slowly to 10 or repeat "calm down", "calm down", all while taking deep breaths (simple, but it works).

• Use visualization - you can imagine yourself in a place that you like or that has a calming effect on you.

• Yoga or other calm exercises that will help relax the muscles will be helpful - regular, daily exercise will bring the best results.

• Change your surroundings.

Rearrange your head.

Therapists also recommend that in stressful situations that lead to anger, you should not think that it is the end of the world. Instead of creating a spiral of negative thoughts, it is better to say to yourself: "Okay, it's difficult, I'm angry, but thinking about it won't help." This helps you get rid of irrational thoughts and focus on ways that can actually be helpful in solving the situation.

If you feel that it is difficult for you to deal with anger on your own and it is starting to cause negative consequences in your life, make an appointment with a therapist. And if you are not ready for this and want to continue trying on your own, use numerous guides. The books that are helpful in learning how to understand and manage anger are, for example, "Attention! Anger" by Ewa Tyralik-Kulpa (published by Natuli), " What to do when you get angry. Anger management techniques" by Huebner Dawn (LEVYZ publisher) or "When your anger hurts your child" by Kim Palega and Patrick Fanning (Mind publisher).

Bibliography:

1. “Controlling anger before it controls you,” American Psychological Association, April 2, 2019.
2. Chida Y., Steptoe A., “The association of anger and hostility with future coronary heart disease: a meta-analytic review of prospective evidence.” J Am Coll Cardiol. March 17, 2009
3. “Men and Anger Management”, WebMD, October 18, 2020